Listening

I had so many different ideas during the week about what to write here next, that I haven't been able to develop even one of them properly! :) Maybe I should let myself be more free to say things here even if they are not all rounded, with a beginning, middle and end, but just put them down and allow them to live on their own terms. Even if it's not a Thursday night :)

Reading this quote by Henri Nouwen today - about listening, rather than talking - has made my decision for me though, as I found it too important a thought and too beautifully expressed not to share:

Listening as Spiritual Hospitality

To listen is very hard, because it asks of us so much interior stability that we no longer need to prove ourselves by speeches, arguments, statements, or declarations. True listeners no longer have an inner need to make their presence known. They are free to receive, to welcome, to accept.

Listening is much more than allowing another to talk while waiting for a chance to respond. Listening is paying full attention to others and welcoming them into our very beings. The beauty of listening is that, those who are listened to start feeling accepted, start taking their words more seriously and discovering their own true selves. Listening is a form of spiritual hospitality by which you invite strangers to become friends, to get to know their inner selves more fully, and even to dare to be silent with you.

                                                                                   - Henri J.M. Nouwen

It reminded me of a day, many years ago, when I was at a church, listening to Michael Card, the songwriter. He is also a wonderful Bible teacher, and one summer in Bucharest, after he had given a concert the previous evening to a packed huge venue, he wanted to have a morning of Bible teaching. Contrary to my expectations, the church hall where we were was far from full - there were maybe twenty people gathered there. The translator was a good Christian man from another town (and I had no idea then, but some years later he would become my pastor).

Michael Card wanted to begin by answering people's questions. There were many questions, and he answered them with knowledge, grace and humour. Time was getting on, and his translator said, 'Shouldn't we be starting on the message you prepared?' (which, judging from the previously announced title, seemed very interesting). But Michael replied: 'The people still have questions, let's continue with that'.

I was so amazed and touched that he left aside the message he had chosen and worked on, in order to devote the full available time to any questions that were asked by the people present.

I had prepared a few questions too, but there's only one I remember now. The answer he gave is also an indelible memory, such was its impact on me at the time. I asked, 'What do you think is the greatest need of young people today?'. He answered: 'The greatest need of young people is the same with the greatest need of old people, children and adults alike: their need is to be listened to'.

It took me totally by surprise, but the more I thought about it, the more I realised how right he was.

As someone who usually feels I've got a lot to say, all this is a precious reminder of how important it is to listen. People will feel accepted and treasured if I listen.

And all the more will God feel so too. He is the ultimate Other, and listening to Him is probably the most difficult exercise in silence, attention and readiness to understand, ever. Because He is holy, everything in my fallen nature is striving to distract me and lead me away from just remaining in each other's presence.

It reminded me of a song by Michael Card, inspired by words from the Old Testament prophets, Will You Not Listen? I need that song. You can find it here, with lyrics.