Living with pain

This title sounds a bit dramatic, but it is the one that kept coming back to me when thinking about this post, so in the end I just decided to go ahead with it. It's nothing too big, really, just the fact that since last summer I have had pain in my right ear, and, over the months, it has waxed and waned (if you'll pardon the pun), but to this day the cause is not clear and the pain persists.

I have made several visits to my GP's, and they are still investigating it - I've recently been refered to ENT, and hopefully I'll have a diagnostic and a treatment some time in the near future.

In the past few weeks however the pain has been constant, day and night, somewhat alleviated by painkillers, but never totally away: and in the last few days, it has become quite intense. Yesterday was the most painful day in a long time, but paradoxically it has been a day with much more joy than usual as well!

Thankfully I was on my own for the most part, as my darling little Bee was away with my mother-in-law. When she had left, at about 10 a.m., I went back to bed, as I felt exhausted. One hour later though, I was still not sleeping, and the pain was almost unbearable. I gave up and after a dose of painkillers picked up the phone and called a lovely friend whom I get to talk to much less often than I should. One more hour and a half later, when we said goodbye, I was feeling so refreshed, in spite of the pain (which fortunately did subside a little), and in much better spirits than if I had slept, I'm sure! "A sweet friendship refreshes the soul" (Proverbs 27:9, The Message).

One of the side effects of constant pain is a sort of 'mind fog', a lessening of one's ability to gather and organize one's thoughts, to make a plan of action and then execute it. Trying to prioritize and then make my way through all the housework tasks that were waiting for me seemed totally overwhelming, so what did I do instead?

I picked up my current embroidery project, I put on some videos on YouTube to listen to while stitching, and I set to work. This is the little piece I'm working on: a delightful plushie designed by the wonderful Michelle Galletta from Kirikí Press - a little bear with a basket of flowers! It came as a gift with the latest issue of my favourite magazine, Mollie Makes.

~ work in progress ~

And these are the videos I listened to: first, a lecture on Imaginative Fiction by Malcolm Guite, given as part of a C.S. Lewis Symposium organized by the Westminster Abbey Institute in 2013. Then, another lecture, by Alister McGrath, part of the same symposium. (A couple of weeks ago I had listened to the great panel discussion held at the end of that event, with guests such as Michael Ramsden and William Lane Craig. Yes, it seems I watched these in reverse order for some reason! :) )

If you are at all interested in C.S. Lewis, Christian apologetics, or Christian writing in general, and haven't listened to these lectures and discussions yet, please do - they are so rich and wonderful, I'm looking forward to hearing them again a few more times, in the hopes that I'll be able to absorb more completely all the insights imparted there!

After listening to Alister McGrath (for the first time ever, I admit!), I was very keen to hear more, so I also watched two more lectures by him, "C.S. Lewis: Reluctant Prophet" (about his recent biography of Lewis) and "Why God Won't Go Away" (in which he engages with the main propositions of New Atheism). I would encourage you to watch them as well if you haven't yet come across them! (I was especially impressed with Mr McGrath's gracious attitude, and with the seriousness and compassion with which he approached his subjects, and all the questions asked of him. All the videos I mentioned have very good Q&A sessions at the end.)

In short, it was a feast for the soul, and I don't know why I've let almost twenty years pass before returning to the double pleasure of listening to masterly words while doing needlework, but I certainly do not intend to wait too much this time before repeating the experience: I might not be able to have as many uninterrupted hours for it soon, still it is worth it at any opportunity.

Then, with only about one hour left until my family returned home, I crammed a load of washing into the machine (isn't it wonderful when machines do many of the most difficult house chores, while we get to keep the satisfaction of a job well done?), and also made a batch of marmalade! :D Again, with gratitude to the amazing modern convenience of purchasing a tin of prepared Seville oranges, adding a bit of water and a lot of sugar - and half an hour later, voilà! Eight jars of super tasty, perfectly set sweet marmalade, with perfectly suspended, very thin pieces of dreamy bitter rind.

Love it! ^__^

I had been craving marmalade for a long time, and last Saturday and Sunday morning's pancakes, while delicious, missed it terribly, so now I'm really happy I've got plenty to last us for a while! Maybe some other day I will tell you a bit about my previous adventures in marmalade, with the Polite and Rude variety (both lovely, really! :D ).

So, this is how in the end the pain mingled with a lot of pleasure: and I know which of yesterday's experiences I'll be remembering for the longest time! :)